The Woodlands

“Where else can you ride in a water taxi to the mall?” exclaimed my friend Darla as she lobbied to lure me and my family to The Woodlands, the forested golfing and shopping hub 27 miles north of Houston. It was a hard sell: I’m not much of a shopper anymore, my husband hasn’t picked up a putter in decades, and my young son just wants to run. Troubling images of us schlepping from boutique to box store flashed before my eyes—tired feet, tears, and tantrums (and I’m just talking about myself).

But Darla promised green expanses (100-plus parks), a wooded resort, outdoor sculpture, a world-class outdoor-concert venue, and The Woodlands Waterway (with that water-taxi ride)—enough family fun to keep even the Brady Bunch entertained for several sunshine days. The consummate shopper, Darla also vowed to steal me away from the family for an afternoon of browsing and buying on Market Street.

And so my husband, Scott, young Lucas, and I were off for a weekend in The Woodlands. The zooms and fumes of Houston’s I-45 eventually gave way to the peaceful, pine-lined streets in this master-planned community founded by businessman/real-estate developer George P. Mitchell in 1974. Intent on spending our first night in the thick of the forest of entertainment, we checked into the upscale, yet relaxed, Woodlands Waterway Marriott. And yes, it’s right on the Waterway, home of the water-taxi rides, tops on Lucas’ to-do list.

Hail to the Water Taxi

Just outside the hotel, we boarded a taxi (one of six climate-controlled hybrid electric boats named for Texas rivers) and met Captain Sean. As we cruised past restaurants, parks, condos, and office buildings lining the 1.25-mile canal, Sean relayed local trivia over the loudspeaker: “The waterway (three- to five-feet deep) was originally a creek. … In the distance is the 32-foot-tall Millennium sculpture, by Bruce White, with bird-shaped cutouts illuminated from within [one of 44 pieces of public art in the community]. There’s the 32-story Anadarko Petroleum tower, the tallest building between Houston and Dallas.” At one point, Sean asked the kids on board to move to one side of the boat and open the windows. He stealthily steered the craft by a large central fountain, and the suddenly wet children giggled and dripped with delight.

The taxis make several stops along the route, including the Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion (recently ranked fifth among the world’s top 100 amphitheaters by Pollstar Magazine), Town Green Park (with its four-acre green space and kid-sized labyrinth featuring an Aesop’s Fables theme), and our destination that afternoon, The Woodlands Mall.

A Mall for Me … and Mini-Me

The Woodlands Mall harbors the typical top—notch mall offerings, anchored by Macy’s and Dillard’s. And it’s one of the kid-friendliest malls around, with a full-sized carousel on the upper level, and a padded play area—surrounded by benches—for babies and toddlers. And there’s also The Woodlands Children’s Museum, where Lucas cleaned a giant set of teeth with rope-sized floss, donned a hard hat and grabbed a shovel for a dino excavation, and created his own watercolor originals.

Back at the taxi landing, I chatted with another captain, Dave, about the restaurants on either side of us. He said that Brio Tuscan Grille has the “best lasagna ever.” Captain Sean chimed in that “it’s all good” at Rockfish Seafood Grill, where you can order “everything from pot roast to cedar-plank salmon without busting your budget.”

Unfortunately, it wasn’t dinnertime, but we had just enough time before the next taxi departure to duck into The Cheesecake Factory and tuck into rich slices of Godiva and Chocolate Tuxedo Cream cheesecake. We were so sugared up we could’ve swum back to the hotel, but we thought better of it.

We’re Off to Market Street

When dinnertime did arrive, we drove only a mile from our hotel to Market Street—a shopping/dining/entertainment area with a quarter-acre Central Park and modern town-square design—our sights on Café Express. The “fast casual” restaurant (several locations in and around Houston and Dallas) was created by renowned chef Robert Del Grande, one of the pioneers of modern Southwestern cuisine.

We ordered at the counter fronting the open kitchen, and sat down in a bright-red booth in the restaurant’s vibrant environs with windows along each wall. In spite of the lively surroundings, mealtime was tellingly quiet as Scott and I savored our shared entrées, the Pasta Capri (linguine with shrimp, spinach, and a creamy roasted-tomato sauce) and Pasta Amore (penne pasta with roasted artichoke hearts, black-olive tapenade, roasted tomatoes, garlic, and pesto). Even the chicken tenders and fresh fruit pleased the palate of our sometimes-finicky four-year-old.

Afterward, we walked the “square,” while I made mental notes on the stores and restaurants to get a head start on my Market Street excursion with Darla the next day. As we approached Central Park, Lucas made a beeline for some pop fountains, where children darted about, running to and from the water spouting from the ground. Never mind swimsuits; most of the kids sloshed about fully dressed, as did mine when he joined the splash-and-squeal extravaganza. As the sun set, colored lights transformed the dancing fountains into a liquid rainbow, enhancing the Mayberry-Disney-esque scene.

Pampering in the Pines

The next morning, we slipped away (just a few miles from the hubbub) to the forested Woodlands Resort. It was love at first sight—with the wooded surroundings and lake vistas, and nary a hint of snooty atmosphere. Our room was certainly posh, appointed with plush bedding and soft robes. But the luxury was almost for naught, as we spent most of our time at the resort’s Forest Oasis Waterscape, with its three pools, the largest of which features a 3-D underwater marine mural and underwater music, waterplay area, and a double-helix water slide that only Scott dared to try. In the summer, daily poolside activities include water-balloon tosses and appearances by “Muffie,” the ever-patient, face-painting clown, and in the evenings, s’more-making around a fire pit and Dive-In Movies.

(We can attest that The Incredibles is truly incredible when you’re floating under the stars.) We dried off long enough to explore the resort, with its two championship golf courses, indoor and outdoor tennis courts, 145 miles of nature trails, and a full-service spa. Three restaurants cover the gastronomic and economic gamut, from a cheeseburger poolside to filet mignon in an elegant dining room with a watery view.

Resort news: Construction has begun on a $50 million “transformation and expansion” project that will add 150-plus guest rooms, a steakhouse, and a winding river to the Forest Oasis area.

What Would Darla Do?

Back at Market Street, Darla and I met up for a two-hour shop-a-thon. We scoped out the latest in espresso machines and other kitchen whirligigs at Sur La Table (did I really need that ceramic grater?), tried on shoes (from Anyi Lu to Pikolinos) at Shoeballou, cooed over the cribs and baby bedding at The Magic Moon, and swooned over Swoozie’s assortment of gifts, tote bags, stationery, and party and picnic supplies—all in WOW colors. On the list for my next Woodlands trip is Jaded, the high-end fashion and accessories boutique for men and women, recently opened by World Wrestling Entertainment stars Torrie Wilson and Nick Mitchell.

Darla’s ideal culinary evening on Market Street? “The crab cakes appetizer at Tommy Bahama’s Tropical Café, and the pecan-crusted trout at Jasper’s.” Both restaurants flank Central Park and have patio seating. For dessert, “a latte truffle or two at Truffles Chocolate Lounge, and a nightcap at Crú—A Wine Bar,” with 300-plus wines to choose from.

Darla and I capped off our Market Street spree at Jamba Juice, where the smoothie and juice combos go on forever. Lifting our frozen “Aloha Pineapple” concoctions, we made a toast-to the weekend, The Woodlands … and water taxis.

For more information on The Woodlands (pop. 88,000), contact The Woodlands Convention and Visitors Bureau, 281/363-2447; www.visitthewoodlands.com. Along with the water taxis, you can also take trolleys to Market Street and several other attractions. For specific information on Market Street, including details on annual events like the Spring Fine Arts Festival (May 3, 2008) and Wine and Food Week (May 31-June 8, 2008), go to www.marketstreet-thewoodlands.com. Also see www.thewoodlandsmall.com and www.woodlandsresort.com.

See the full article in the May 2008 issue.

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